Making Memories: Simplifying Vacation

The most costly gift I can ever give my children is the gift of my time and attention.

June has been insane.  We have jumped from one party to the next, unpacking and repacking every few days.  It has been so much fun... but also SO exhausting.  With all of the “fun,”  I’ve noticed our levels of patience with each other growing smaller and smaller.   How could we be anything BUT happy with all this “fun” scheduled for each day?

For so many years, we’ve gotten it wrong.  We would throw all of our money and focus into entertaining our kids (and ourselves) when we went on vacations.  Movies and dinners out, amusement and water parks, new toys and clothes, new games and apps for our devices... we thought if we were all entertained we would be happy.  Each  time we would return home from vacation, we would be drained; physically and financially.  And all those hopes of the perfect vacation were deflated, leaving us frustrated that we could be feeling so unsatisfied.

And then last year we spontaneously planned a family trip with our good friends to Florida.  We’ve gone on trips with family and friends before, but for some reason, we just seem to “click” with this family.  Our kids all match up in ages and we can relate so well as couples.  The trip turned out to be a success and we all decided it needed to be an annual adventure.

Right now we are on our 2nd annual family vacation in Destin, Florida.  This trip has become  my favorite for so many reasons:  exploring beautiful beaches, trying new recipes, going on mini adventures, playing board games, and laughing until our bellies ache.  But the best part of this trip is by far the opportunity it provides for us to connect as a family.  

Day 3 of our vacation was a perfect example.  We always try to plan a few fun family outings as options to break up our schedule and add a little excitement if the days grow stale.  We had already been in our house for 2 full days, so we planned on an adventure to Big Kahuna’s water park.  We talked about how fun it would be: How good it would feel to be splashed by water cannons and careen down water slides.  But as we talked about all of the fun we were going to have, a nagging uneasiness hung in the air.  We soon put our finger on the fact that there was an expectation that this was what we all should WANT to be doing, but -in all honesty- none of us really did.  The kids wanted to keep playing card games and swimming, and we just wanted to sit and hang out, eating hors d'oeuvres and catching up on life.  So that’s what we did.

The next day we thought we would surely need an activity, so we headed out to a bowling alley.  Five out of the eight kids lost interest before the fifth frame.  We ventured back home to find all the smiles and giggles return as soon as all of the kids were back splashing in the pool and falling all over each other in game after game of Twister.

  
I’m not saying that it’s been all sunshine and roses, there have definitely been squabbles over who cheated in a game and who's sticky fingers snagged all of the pop tarts.  But the overwhelming evidence only reinforces our belief that our kids are happier not by our efforts in entertaining them, as much as the simple gift of our time and undivided attention.

So the next time I'm tempted to "save the vacation" by offering every possible distraction money can buy, I'll remember this trip to Florida where card games and cooking together in the kitchen made so many more memories than any movie theater or new app ever could.