The Mini-Date
A few months ago we decided to lower our standards. Sounds like a great strategy for marriage, right?? Ha! It actually has been. We try to get out at least once a month for a nice 3+ hour date away from the kids, but in all honesty, most times even that's a struggle. Instead of viewing Date Night as a big ordeal where we would escape for hours at a time, we figured we would start small. We would carve out little chunks of time where we could be alone and focus on catching up on each other's days and making time to laugh. After all, it's cheaper to hire a babysitter for an hour, rather than 3. And when your kids are in that in-between age of "old enough to be home alone for an hour or less", these mini-dates are the perfect option.
Here are a few mini-date ideas that we've done:
EVENING WALK
Our evening walk was the first "mini-date" my husband an I ever did. It has become our main form of escape when we need just a little break from the constant interruptions and refereeing of parenthood. We have a trail just behind our house that is the perfect setting for a quiet little walk alone together. We hire a responsible teenage neighbor to play with the kids for 30 minutes to an hour, then we quickly lace up our shoes and run out the door. Sometimes we turn on the RunKeeper App to see how fast of a pace we can keep, other times we turn on music to which we can stroll leisurely. But most often, we just fill the time talking and helping each other figure out the frustrations of the day. Exercise triggers endorphins, which trigger a happy atmosphere for time alone.
COFFEE HOUSE
Going to a coffee house was another "early on" mini date. It was winter when we started these mini dates and being outside wasn't always ideal. We went to high school and college when the TV show "Friends" was a hit, so we still view going to a coffee shop as cool. We usually have to order decaf versions of our favorite drinks, but having uninterrupted time to quietly talk about things other than Paw Patrol or Star Wars is a blissful escape. Again, for this mini date, we'd hire that same teenager and drive the 4 minutes and 22 seconds it took to get to the local coffee house.
PIZZA AT THE PARK....OR SOMETIMES JUST IN OUR OWN BACKYARD
Any time I don't have to cook dinner almost feels like a date to me! On our first date, my husband and I went to a concert and then met my friends at a pizza and karaoke bar. We made great memories (Obviously, since we're married now!) and we still have an affection for pizza. If we have time and money for a babysitter, we'll order take out and head to a park, but if not, we're just as happy sitting on our back porch and enjoying quiet conversation over a pie. We always order two Pizzas (one for us and one for the kids) and then turn on a movie to keep them entertained. They're happy, we're happy...and our wallets are still pretty full too.
EARLY MORNING COFFEE DATE
COOKING A DINNER (OR DESSERT) TOGETHER
We are not foodies. I wish we were, but both of us really would prefer to spend time and money on an event or activity than on a $50 entree. And, quite honestly, neither of us are good enough at cooking to spend more than an hour putzing over a meal that usually is marginal (again, due to our lack of culinary skills). But dessert? Dessert is a whole different story. And there's something intimate about baking up a sweet treat together. This mini date is always done after the kids are snugly tucked into bed. A nice bottle of wine, a little music, and a lot of sugar are the ingredients for this mini date. How can you go wrong there?
On weekend mornings, my husband and I sneak into the 3 season porch and try to bribe the kids to leave us alone for an hour or so while we wake up with our coffee. But sometimes our evenings during the week are so busy that the only time we can connect is in the morning. We're usually up by 5:45 each morning to have time to get ready before the kids wake up. If we know we have a busy week with no time to connect, we'll try to set the alarm 15 minutes earlier so we can have time to enjoy our coffee and talk and pray before the busyness starts. Sometimes we're even rewarded with a beautiful sunrise.
BACKYARD GAMES (WHILE THE KIDS WATCH A SHOW)
My husband and I learned early on in our relationship that we are both fairly competitive. This mini date idea takes finesse and a background in knowing you and your spouse's limits. But it is one of the easier options. These dates have gone wrong when we place a higher priority on winning than enjoying our time together (kind of like what we tell our kids with their sports, huh?). But when we keep this perspective, this can be a really fun date! You guessed it, we just turn on a movie for the kids, instruct them to stay inside (or sometimes we put them down for bed by 8:00), and then head out the back door for a mean fun game of Badminton, Boccie Ball, or Baggo.
EXERCISING TOGETHER
Ok, so THIS picture isn't from a "Mini-date". We actually got away for a weekend to run a Ragnar 200-mile relay race. It was a blast! Anytime we get to exercise together, it not only makes the workout more enjoyable, but it builds our relationship in a different way. I have to be honest with my husband (who is an ultra-marathoner, and I am not!!). I have to set aside my pride and ask him to slow down, and he oftentimes pushes me past my comfort zone...which helps me get a better workout!
Those are just a few of our favorites. What ideas do you have to get time alone to build your relationship?
Those are just a few of our favorites. What ideas do you have to get time alone to build your relationship?
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